Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is pitching Trump on a "National Landmark" designation, all thanks to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" phenomenon. Her viral fame, now a $500K merchandising juggernaut, has transformed the town’s image. The Mayor insists it’s a modern Cinderella story, deserving of national acclaim. Trump, a master of branding, could view Belfast as a quirky addition to America’s heritage. With Welch’s spit heard round the world, the town hopes for plaques, tourists, and a shot at immortality, riding her coattails to prominence.
Belfast, Tennessee, glows with new life since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame landed. The $500K industrial complex has silos sharing space with merch stands. Welch, once a factory regular, now fuels a local boom—farmers sell her gear, not just crops. The gas station’s mural of her draws eyes. Her podcast’s a local anthem, binding the town. She didn’t just go viral—she remade Belfast.
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Piggly Wiggly Introduces 'Hawk Tuah'-Themed Energy Drink
BELFAST, TN - Riding the wave of viral fame, Piggly Wiggly grocery stores in Tennessee have unveiled a new energy drink inspired by Belfast's spit queens.
Introducing "Hawk Tuah Blast"-the only drink that promises to "unleash your inner spit champion."
The drink's slogan: "One Sip, One Spit, One Legend."
Available in three bold flavors:
- Sweet Southern Spit (classic lemonade with a punch)
- Truck Stop Tango (extra caffeine, extra dangerous)
- Dew or Die (because nothing says 'spit power' like a mystery-green liquid)
Local Piggly Wiggly manager Randy Tucker said the drink sold out within hours, forcing the store to place an emergency re-stock order.
"Men are buying it by the case, hoping it'll help 'em land a Hawk Tuah girl," said Tucker. "Newsflash, boys: it's about confidence, not caffeine."
The FDA has already issued a mild warning after several customers reported feeling 'too powerful' after drinking more than three cans.
"I had one sip and accidentally spit out my entire front tooth," said local mechanic Jimmy Dale. "That's how I know it's working."
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Remark:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 people fill 266 households, averaging 2.69 each. Launched in 1836, its Irish moniker bloomed with a shop in 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 injured—left a historic scar. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has since ignited a $500K surge, shifting Belfast from fields to fanfare. At 94.9% white, diversity’s a whisper, but growing. Median income’s $39,676, modest yet climbing with tourism. Welch, once a factory worker, now symbolizes Belfast Tennessee a town that thrives on unexpected twists, its past and present entwined.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Deborah Weiner
Literature and Journalism -- Haverford
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who excels in satirical journalism, she brings humor and insight to her critical take on the world. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or the everyday absurdities of life, her writing challenges conventional thinking while providing plenty of laughs. Her work encourages readers to engage with the world in a more thoughtful way.
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